


Worst Timing Ever

by MsChievous



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Gen, It's actually kinda weird, for the first time in my life, just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 03:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11371845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsChievous/pseuds/MsChievous
Summary: Written for the kinkmeme:The guys end up in not always the nicest places through their trip. Noctis is not above picking up stuff that is definitely garbage to the average human to bring back to Cid.Imagine a potential mugger seeing this trash panda of a boy (Noctis) picking up scrap metal behind the dumpster at some outpost and is like "He looks pretty wimpy, let's see if he's got any gil I can take". Except this unlucky soul pulls a gun on the wrong motherfuckers: only the most heavily armed group of slightly unwashed campers ever.+Mugger pulls gun, Prompto's like "You think that's a gun? THIS is a gun!"+This mugger has just met death himself and he wears expensive driving gloves (Ignis)+Gladio isn't even mad, he just laughs which is somehow even more frightening than verbal threats+Noctis does not understand what is happening, because nobody has ever been dumb enough to try and mug the Crown Fucking Prince of Lucis before





	Worst Timing Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Let me just say: I have no idea where tf this came from. I'm usually just an angst writer, but I just saw this prompt, opened google docs, and, well, fuckin' wrote this mofo in, like, half an hour/hour.

When Aldorn had first caught a glimpse of the black-haired kid scrounging around the back alleys of Lestallum, he’d thought he’d hit the jackpot. The kid was scrawny, with worn jeans, a plain white T-shirt, and a bomber jacket that, if he wasn’t mistaken (and he wasn’t), was worth at least a ten thousand gil. Probably more. He doubted the kid even knew how much it was worth, if he was going dumpster diving with it on. 

His finger itched over the gun slid into the back of his pants waistbands and he discreetly pulled it out as a blonde kid slung an arm around the black-haired kid’s shoulders, grinning and jerking a thumb back to where they came from. Aldor grinned. He could definitely squeeze a few gil out of these punk. Enough at least for a beer and a good meal.

Aldorn stalked up to the pair, gun pointed at the black-haired kid. 

“Hey, punk, give me all your money.”

 

* * *

 

“Noooooct, I’m bored!” Prompto crooned, leaning into Noct’s shoulder dramatically. “Specs and Gladio are checking out some posters advertising hunts, let’s go check it out!” 

“Yeah, Prom, one sec. I think Cid wants something like this for the Drain Lance. D’you think this is en-” Noct was suddenly cut off as the barrel of a gun was shoved in his face and a rough voice demanded, “Hey, punk, give me all your money.”

Noct took an involuntary step back and furrowed his eyebrows. Was… was he being  _ mugged _ ? The King of Lucis was being  _ mugged _ ? It was actually kinda laughable.

“Whoa,  _ duuuuude _ , that gun sucks  _ ass _ !” Prompto laughed, looking closely at the gun held in the mugger’s shaky grip. “And you’re holding that all wrong, dude.”

The mugger looked confused for a second and their lackadaisical reaction, then terrified as Prompto pulled his own gun out of the Armiger. “Y’see, this lil’ guy is called “Quicksilver”. It shoots really quickly, based on Nif technology.” Prompto pointed the gun away from both Noctis and the mugger, demonstrating how to properly hold the gun, then dropped it back into the Armiger. 

The mugger adjusted his grip, quickly, panicked. He looked from Prompto to Noctis. Prompto was flexing his hand, shifting his stance, and Noctis had no doubt that he was going to bring out some of his machinery, like that circular saw he was so fond of, but then he heard a familiar voice, and he jerked toward it.

“Noct, is there a problem?” Ignis strode into full view, then stopped short at the sight of his charge being held at gunpoint. He quirked an eye, giving the mugger a full up-and-down scan before returning to Noct. “Come now, we have hunts to complete.”

“Hey!” The mugger was shaking, whether from anger or fear, Noctis couldn’t quite tell. “Shut up! All of you, just  _ shut up! _ Give me your damn fucking wallets, and  _ maybe _ you’ll get out of this in one piece.” He was spitting now, a few flecks landing on Noctis’ jacket. He wiped them away as Ignis turned his entire body to face the man.

“Ooooh, somebody’s in  _ troooooublllleeeeee _ .” Prompto laughed softly.

“What is your name?” Ignis spoke in his usual clipped tone, and he was facing away from Noct, but based on the man’s reaction, Ignis was using the face he reserved for Noctis when he refused to eat his vegetables during big state dinners.   
If the mugger hadn’t been pissing himself before, he certainly was now.

“Wh-Names aren’t fucking important, just give me your wallets, or I’ll fucking  _ kill _ you!” 

“Who’s gonna kill who? ‘Cause I got dibs on Prompto.” Gladio’s voice called out from around a bend in the sidewalk.

“Hey, fuck you, Gladio!” Prompto called back playfully, just as the man himself lumbers into view. 

He noted the mugger with little more than a smirk and a small laugh. “C’mon  _ Your Majesty _ , we gotta get to sleep if we’re gonna get that hunt. First thing in the morning.” He wrapped one thick hand around Noctis’ arm and dragged him away, putting himself in between Noctis and the guy holding the gun. The way the gun was shaking, Gladio doubted the man could hit the broad side of a barn, but he certainly didn’t want to underestimate a potential combatant.

The mugger had taken a few steps back at Gladio’s entrance, whipping his gun now between Ignis and Prompto. Ignis simply adjusted his glasses and followed Gladio and Noctis down an alleyway towards the Leville.

Prompto started to follow, but the mugger stepped forward, looking him up and down, now doubt thinking an easy target would soothe his wounded pride. Just for shits and giggles, Prompto put up a worried face. “Hey, now, I’m not looking for trouble, mister…” Was that laying it on too thick? Probably. But it was hilarious to see the man’s eyes narrow triumphantly, as if he actually stood a chance.

Ignis would have said, “Don’t be daft. It could all be an elaborate trick, meant to take you off guard.” And he was probably right, but he was also not here. And Prompto was  _ so bored _ . 

“Just give me all your money.” The man’s voice was a low growl

Prompto reached back, as if to pull a wallet out of his pocket, but then he surged forward, until he was face to face with the mugger. In a quick move, almost too fast to see, Prompto swung his foot up and around, knocking the gun out of the mugger’s hand and knocking into his chin in the same maneuver. He caught the gun in midair and tucked it in his back pocket. “I’ll just take this,” He hummed, then pulled the Cerberus rifle out of the Armiger. Go big or go home, as they say.

The mugger let out a high-pitched whine, and the front of his pants turned wet. Prompto bit back a smile. “So, yeah, thanks for the laugh. Next time, though, try not to mug the King of Lucis, yeah?” 

The mugger looked like he was gonna respond, but then a gruff voice shouted, “Prompto! Get your ass over here!”, and a hand gripped his bicep, pulling him away. With a sigh, he released the Cerberus back into the Armiger and followed Gladio back to the Leville. 

“Boo, you’re a buzzkill.” Prompto pouted. “And you totally missed my roundhouse kick! It was  _ sooooo _ badass!” 

“Sounds like overkill. He’s a lowlife. Wouldn’t have shot us unless we attacked him.” Gladio rolled his eyes.

“Well, yeah, but I was booooored. We’ve been walking around Lestallum for  _ days _ .”

“You’re bored, are you?” Gladio grinned, giving Prompto a sideways glance, “Well, in that case, I’m sure Ignis will have plenty of work for you back at the hotel.”

Prompto gulped. “Y’know, on second thought, I’m fine.”


End file.
